![]() I returned from Mexico and Uncle Kim (my brother-in-law/Holly) picked me up at Pearson International in Toronto. I spent the night in Brampton and got an early start for the drive back to Windsor. There was little traffic and the stops on the highway were not crowded - I went directly to the front of the line at Tim Hortons! The weather continues to be cold and damp with the occasional snow flurry, but it doesn’t accumulate. I see from Facebook posts of others, that this is an annual occurrence - pictures of April snow from years past. Our work continues on Windsor Light Music’s Cinderella. It’s been two years since we’ve put on a show. Looking forward to the curtain’s rise. Mum takes a turn for the worse. It’s not covid, but she is very tired and can only stay awake for half of the day. Her mobility is poor and trips to the doctor to see what's going on take their toll. Cathy arrived late on the 12th and took Mum to see her doctor the next day. Heart issues and other complications yet to be determined are evident. Cathy stayed till Thursday morning and Mary and her daughter Sarah arrived that afternoon. Mary took Mum to a heart test the next day and they left Saturday morning. By our very nature, we are so obsessed with reality, that only occasionally do we get a glimpse of what’s really going on On this day - April 20, 2022, I read on my FB page that the Catholic Church is settling a Camden PA sexual lawsuit for $87 million. The next story is about a Christian health care insurance company that has gone bankrupt leaving tens of thousands of faithful policyholders facing up to $200 million in unpaid medical bills. Thoughts and prayers. ![]() Anatomy of a Passing A week ago Mum kept trying to get through her current book for her book club meeting the following Friday. She was very ill and I was gently trying to suggest she might need to reconsider her attendance (via Skype). She was not facing her deteriorating condition. On Wednesday before, one of her book club members - Marg D - walks her dog every morning past the house, so I went out and told her that they should not be surprised if Mum cancelled. In the ongoing conversation, I revealed that Mum was very sick. Two hours later Marg arrives at the door with an orchid. Mum was up, still in her pyjamas, sitting on the couch downstairs. They had a visit. Obviously, Marg made her calls. The next day my sister Cathy arrived. Two weeks prior Mum had visited her doctor complaining of abdominal pain. The usual tests began - blood work, urine, an ultrasound, and heart test. I remember the ultrasound as it was the Detroit Tigers' home opener and four A10 Warthogs kept flying over holding a pattern waiting to make their pass over the stadium. The ultrasound that day could not get a good image. Because of that, a CT scan was ordered but the date was June 6th - we could not wait that long. Mum continued to go downhill. Apparently, we needed the CT to confirm what everyone knew - she was dying. Without that information, palliative care could not begin. Everyone - her doctor and the health unit said to take her to emergency and you will get one. Cathy came around 11 on Thursday to help with that. Just after getting Mum dressed that morning, two more visitors from her book club arrived and made their way upstairs for a final visit. Then we called EMS and the ambulance arrived. The attendants were very nice and at 12 noon off to emergency she went. Peter followed with Cathy. Cathy stayed with Mum the entire time. They got an emerg “room” by 2:30 and were eventually seen by a doctor around 6:30. The CT scan happened around 10:30 and Mum was back home in bed by midnight. The diagnosis was terminal cancer in multiple organs. ![]() The next day - Friday - a palliative Dr and aid arrived for a scheduled visit - which we were only made aware of the two days before. There was a communication breakdown - how it happened is unknown, but the day spent in emergency could have been avoided. This Dr had seen the original ultrasound and knew Mum was terminal - no one told us. By this time I’d removed one of the beds (they slept in two twins joined together - sorry but “conjoined twins”) and added chairs to the room for up to 5 visitors. The Dr gently told Mum it was terminal and she only had, at the most a few weeks - but it could happen any time. He was very thorough in the instructions and increased her meds to keep her comfortable. She was conscious and lucid all Friday - we could have conversations. By evening she had come to terms with what was happening and stated “OK, let's get this show on the road” Saturday morning my sister Cathy’s husband Norm arrived with two of her adult children - Katelyn and Andrea. This visit had been scheduled early in the week as both daughters are doctors - they wanted a first-hand look at their Nana. But it was clear, the end was in sight, so it turned into the last visit. By early evening Cathy called my other two sisters - Holly and Mary and said they should come now. Mary was just walking into a restaurant, so she and her daughter Emily turned back to their car, picked up Holly on their way, and started the 4-hour drive to Windsor. They arrived late but still in time to talk with Mum, though she was fading quickly. It was a long night as we took turns sitting with Mum, even though she was mostly unconscious. At 5:00 am I woke to loud distressed breathing, and entered the room to find Holly sleeping next to Mum. She got up and went to another bed. Soon Cathy appeared and we agreed she needed more medication. Ports had been set in both her legs for injections and Cathy began administering those. We called the palliative nurse for further instructions. She arrived not long after, a young woman of perhaps 30. She assessed the situation, administered more injections, and then said she would insert a catheter. Cathy asked me to leave the room. As soon as the catheter was in, Mum took two long breaths and then passed. The nurse said she expected it might happen. It was about 5:30 am. Because we had the palliative diagnosis we did not need to call an ambulance, have an autopsy or involve the police. The funeral home was called and they arrived soon after. They gave us all the time we wanted to say our goodbyes. Having done that, they attempted to remove the body. Mum and Dad had put a stairlift to the second floor so taking the gurney up was not possible. They put her in a bag and carried her down to the stretcher and then out to their van. It was 8:00 am. The funeral home called and asked us (only 4) to be there at 2:00 pm. I went with my sisters, Peter stayed home. ![]() With Dad dying last year I knew what would happen, so months ago I prepared a file with all the required papers. It took less time with Mum, only about two hours to get through the official paperwork and the attempted service up-sell. The funeral home does all the filing with the government to make the death official. A death certificate is required to go forward with the probate of the will. Also what is required - if you want one (and most people do) is an obituary. Two years ago when Dad was clearly in dementia, I decided to write Mum’s obituary. I reasoned that if Mum passed before Dad, we could not be sure of anything he told us. Mum had a little difficulty with it at the time, but we got through and I learned a number of things. One which came as a surprise was that Dad left Grampa’s medical practice, not on the best of terms. I thought he stayed there, and married Mum and then they left. Not so. We left with many copies of the official death certificate and the next day began the complicated process with the lawyers, accountants, financial advisers, real estate agents, insurance people, and bankers. Everyone wants copies of the will, the death certificate, identification of we three executors, email and phone numbers, and addresses. Thank goodness for scanners and email, but each needs paperwork physically dropped off. We now must prepare for the memorial, which because we never had one for Dad, with be for them both. Funny how things work out. ![]() Viewed Dune (2021) Part One (of 3) - Crave Thoroughly enjoyed this remake of the classic tale by Frank Hebert. The cast is excellent. Timothée Chalamet as Paul Atreides (the young prince) and Rebecca Ferguson as his mother Lady Jessica are a powerful duo who can easily carry the series to its conclusion. Part 2 is scheduled for 2023. Having read the book when it first came out, and then the first movie - which was disappointing, two things occurred to me. The story is easily seen as the messiah myth - the arrival of the foretold one (he fulfils the prophecies) and I suspect Hebert was strongly influenced by Lawrence of Arabia. Lawrence was not of the desert, but was accepted by the desert nomads and then exalted as their conquering hero/leader. Looking forward to the next part. The third (and final) instalment has not yet been green lighted. ![]() Killing Eve - Crave The last season (4). Hats off to the writers for putting a period at the end. Of course, they could have pulled a “Dallas” on us and make it all a dream - NO! I found they were struggling to finish, Villeneuve was getting a little tiring - her exploits becoming more bizarre. Lots of loose ends tied up, but many felt disappointed about who had to die and who lives. Poor Konstantin - I will miss his laugh.
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![]() Puerto Vallarta, a city with a population of 221,000, is located on a deep bay on the west coast of Mexico, north of Acapulco. I spent about two weeks there with a friend - “B”, which is short for Barbara. She’d rented an Airbnb for a month from a nice couple, Jose (Peppi) Navarro and Yelba (Sussy) Lemes. Peppi is divorced and has a daughter. I must also mention their help Marta - the friendliest maid in Mexico! When Peppi picked me up at the airport, he said he was the great great grandson of Benito Pablo Juárez García, the 26th president of Mexico (1858 until his death in office in 1872). He was the first president of Mexico of indigenous origin. Being an amateur genealogist I had to google Juarez (on GENi) and of course, we are related! Jose Navarro is my 6th great aunt's great nephew's wife's aunt's husband's second great nephew's wife's second cousin thrice removed. After arriving and settling at the rental B took me for a walk down to the marina and out to the nearest beach. I soon realised I would need to buy a hat and the sand underfoot was too hot to stand for long. The next day before heading out to explore we changed some money. The local currency is the peso and $100 US converts to about $2000 peso. A Big Mac costs about $83 peso. We hailed a cab and headed down to the boardwalk - one of the central tourist areas. It took me a few days to establish my internal compass, getting north and south in the proper positions. (I may not get the exact order of things we did, but the general order is correct.) ![]() B's Notes: Peppi's wife Sussy is Nicaraguan. She came to Mexico 30 years ago during the civil war. (The war which Reagan backed the Contra's with drug money - Oliver North) She is also divorced. Her daughter lives close by and is an interior designer and makes jewellery. Sussy also has a son in Cancun and one in Mazatlan. Her father is alive but has Alzheimer’s. He was an obstetrician and then a psychologist. After he retired he did not want to do much other than watch TV. Sussy speaks Russian. She spent 6 years in Russia. During that time, she developed breast cancer. She said Russia paid for all her surgery medical bills etc. Her first husband had a wandering eye and off he went. He had been a classmate in Russia. ![]() Boardwalk We strolled the beach area and visited an old church. The patron saint of Mexico is Our Lady of Guadalupe and the church was dedicated to her. According to a 17th-century account written in the native Nahuatl language (the Nican Mopohua manuscript), the Virgin Mary appeared four times to Juan Diego, an indigenous Mexican peasant and once to his uncle, Juan Bernardino. Our Lady of Guadalupe, also known as the Virgin of Guadalupe, is a Catholic title of Mary, Mother of Jesus and is associated with a series of five Marian apparitions in December 1531, and a venerated image on a cloak enshrined within the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City. The basilica (in Mexico City) is the most-visited Catholic shrine in the world and the world's third most-visited sacred site. ![]() Puerto Vallarta Botanical Gardens The following day we were off to the Puerto Vallarta Botanical Gardens. Consistently in the top 10 list of best gardens in North America and the most visited gardens in Mexico, it’s a full day's outing. Peppi was taking one of his workers in that direction and agreed to give us a lift. He dropped us off near where we could get the connecting bus - we needed to go 1 block down and 2 to the right, Almost immediately we stumbled upon an art gallery that had some interesting paintings. We entered and found three people hanging some new art. They said they were getting ready for a show the next day but we were welcome to look around. In the back, we found some very interesting works and inquired about them. Turned out one of the women hanging was the artist - Kathleen Carrillo. We stayed and spoke with her for some time and then headed out to catch the bus. About 20 minutes later we were dropped at the gates where we paid our $400 peso ($20 US for two) admission. Making our way to the greeting center, we found a beautiful two-story building, the first story with 20 foot high ceilings. In this large sitting area, one is offered a free non-alcoholic drink and it affords you the opportunity to look at the trail map and decide where you want to go. As we discovered, many of the trails have steep vertical drops, each with stairs, but it’s still a pretty good workout in the Mexican heat. After about an hour’s hike, we returned to the visitor center and made our way to the second-floor restaurant. It sits high in the trees, and affords a beautiful view and a welcomed breeze. Lunch for two was delicious (I had a burger and fries - yum) at $700 peso ($35 US). After lunch, we made our way down into the valley to the river - a beautiful setting where you could swim. We then climbed the 52 steps to the winding road back to the top, where we toured the cactus and several orchid houses. We then made our way to the gates. Tired, we elected to forgo the (at least) 1-hour connecting bus rides to return and took a cab for $500 peso. In Puerto Vallarta, there are few traffic lights (until you get on the main road that traverses the city) but control is maintained by hundreds of speed bumps - it takes some getting used to. ![]() Yelapa Yelapa is a tiny village about an hour's drive south of Peurto Vallarta. We decided to take the water taxi and see the shoreline from the ocean side. We asked Peppi if we paid him would he take us to the water taxi beach and he did. The tourist brochures said the water taxi left at 11:00, but Peppi said they leave all the time. We arrived at about 10:45 but no taxi for Yelapa left till noon, and there was a crowd waiting. They would put about 30 people in these smallish boats, but the ocean was not rough so they appeared safe. We got to Yelapa around 1:00. It’s a beautiful beach, but as I’ve said, it’s really too hot to just sit. Our plan was to make the 75-minute hike up the small river to the waterfall. There is no signage as to how to get to the trail and even after asking several people, it took us a long time to find it. By that time we realized we would not have enough time to get to the falls, but we’d hike upriver for 45 minutes and then return. We were told that the last boat back to Puerto Vallarta was 4. This turned out to be wrong and we could have made the falls. The hike was very interesting in that you passed through the yards of Mexican farmers. You walked past their horses and donkeys tied to the fence, their barnyards, and children playing along the trail. We made it back to town with time to spare, so made our way to a smaller waterfall right in the village. Then it was back to the water taxi for the 45-minute ride back to the taxi beach and then a 45-minute cab ride back to town. It was an enjoyable but tiring day. If one wanted a quiet out-of-the-way somewhat rustic holiday, an Airbnb in Yelapa would be just the ticket. Days of Relaxation As mentioned, for several days we did nothing but relax. On one of these, we had a masseuse come to the room and we each enjoyed a one-hour rub. We spent another of these days researching B’s family history (on the internet) and I began entering Peppi’s family on the GENi site where I do my family tree work. We took many of our meals in our quarters. Our favorite was a cooked chicken which comes with a half dozen medium-sized new potatoes, 6 tortillas, a small container of rice mixed with corn and peas, hot peppers, and a hot sauce. This would last for three meals. We also enjoyed pan-fried local shrimp on two occasions. Breakfast was usually eggs of some kind or French Toast. One day while walking in the marina we stopped for a bite to eat. I asked B if our waiter was a man (she had long dark hair and full makeup) Yes and B made a connection with this person - we both hugged him/her on our way out. ![]() The Butterfly Sanctuary We headed out to the main road and hailed a taxi. The driver was not sure where the sanctuary was so he radioed his brother Carlos (also a taxi driver) who was just starting his shift. We sat for a few minutes till Carlos arrived, switched cabs, and were off. As we approached I said we could walk from here, which we didn’t because that was the entrance to a cemetery. We continued a fair way down a winding dirt road until we reached the sanctuary. As seemed usual, Carlos said he would wait for the hour-plus it would take us to tour the sanctuary. You are required to have a guide, so we had to wait about 20 minutes for the tour ahead of us to finish. We sat under a roofed outdoor patio and watched the ducks and an alligator in the pond. We met our guide Fabio, a young man from Peru. His birthday was the next day. When we asked about touring Peru he said to stay about 4 days in Lima and then rent an Airbnb in Cuzco. We started the tour and it became clear Fabio was very knowledgeable regards the butterflies. We witnessed eggs being laid, various larva in various stages, and many butterflies. Though there are some 120 species in the region, only 20 or so are active at any one time. We enjoyed the tour as Fabio was a fabulous guide. Tour was $1300 (including a nice t-shirt - optional) and the cab $600 (roughly $2,000 or $100 US) ![]() Barb Says: I’d led myself to believe that I couldn’t travel solo, it would not be safe, and I would never have enough money. It was time for a change, time for a challenge It was quite safe and not once did I feel compromised. Taxis and buses were always flying around, cheap too - but, I opted to walk. Almost every day was the same - blue, cloudless skies, and hot. There is really only one main drag in PV so you can’t get too lost but I did, and don’t forget a hat. Bright flowers can be seen on numerous species of trees and bushes; with dried leaves all over the ground. It’s so dry. I can only imagine when everything has had a drink. Masking inside was mandatory, and sanitizing stations were conveniently located throughout stores. It’s hard to tell if someone is smiling or sneering at you but I find generally if I give a big smile I will get one back. Each day was a new adventure. Yelapa Hiking to a waterfall was the plan. There were so many forks in the road and no signage, but we managed to always stay the course and never got lost. What I thought was cool was this - if you looked from the water's edge, up the mountainside you might think that there is nothing there but bush. That would be anything but true. As we scaled up we came upon restaurants, schools, off sales booze, candy, a bike repair shop, donkeys, cows, chickens, and children playing on the road. There were neighbourhoods with very small cobblestone streets. All are able to maneuver ATVs or horses (but no cars) to and fro. I imagine if I was older I would use one as a ride to the pier, jump a water taxi into Puerto Vallarta and shop for the day. The houses, on either side of the shallow river, had toys at the edge. There were lots of minnows to catch if you were a kid. This was a great day. (Note: Barbara rented for a month, I spent the last two weeks with her) An Apology
My sincerest apologies to Randall Scott and Charlie Rondot. We had planned to go listen to the Bay Roots but age seemed to have caught up with us, and we were often too tired. Next time, first thing! Link to more pictures here |
AuthorI believe we are what we think. What we think depends on what we feed our brains. This is a partial record of what my brain has been eating. Archives
February 2023
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